Wednesday 25 April 2012

Lolitas Who Help Each Other Out

I have met a lot of amazing people through lolita. I have been getting a lot of reminders lately about how lucky I am to have my friends. I have quite a lot of lolitas on Facebook and it is fair to say that I know some lolitas better than others. But despite this, I have discovered that people are willing to help you out.

An example would be when I recently discovered that one of my dream dresses was going cheap on a Japanese auction site. It was one of those dresses that is very popular and normally sells for well over the original retail price. The only problem is, the dress was a bit damaged. So I posted a status update stating what was wrong with the dress and asking people if I should take a risk and bid on it. I thought somebody would just give me a 'yes' or 'no' answer and that would be the end of it. But what I wasn't expecting was several different people offering to fix the dress for me. It was really great to get these offers and it made me feel good about myself. It showed that people were taking an interest and wanted to help me. I was really grateful for this unexpected help.

Then a few weeks ago, I came to the sudden realisation that I didn't have a matching head bow for an outfit I am wearing to a meet. Me being the Facebook junky that I am, I updated my status. I started searching all the sales communities for a suitable bow, but then somebody commented on my status saying they would make a bow for me.


And here it is! I can't thank my friend enough for her kind generosity. She even re-did the bow after I was unsure about one of the details. The bow was also neatly made and I can tell a lot of thought and effort was put in.


The skirt I want to wear it with!

And then this week I got a message asking me if I wanted some bow brooches that somebody didn't want. She didn't want to see them go to waste and so she gave them to me because she thought I would find somebody to do with them.


I really want to do something nice with them now, otherwise I feel like I would be letting her down!

Now aside from this post showing that I spend far too much time on Facebook, I think it also demonstrates that there are wonderful people out there who are willing to help out a friend. I would like to think that this is a sign that our friendship goes beyond a common interest in lolita fashion. And I want you all to know that I am very grateful to everybody that has offered me any help.

I would like to think that in turn, I am trying my best to be a good friend too. So here are some suggestions of things you could do to say 'thank you' to those who have selflessly helped you out. I already do a lot of these things myself.

1. Make a Lolita Valentine- Pretty straight forward. Sadly, this is something that I don't do as much as I should! But even if I don't make a Valentine, I do try to leave nice comments on photos that I like or on Daily Lolita posts. It is easy enough to do at any time.

2. Look out for your friend's dream items- If I spot an item I know my friend is after, I will tell them about it. Sometimes I will do a specific search just for their item, instead of casually browsing for myself. It is really great when you do eventually find an item because your friend may not have spotted it.

3. Make/bake something- I am not an excellent crafter but I do enjoy baking. So if I have been doing some random baking, I will usually take some over to my friends or family. Nobody has complained yet!

4. Offer to host meets or volunteer to help out a host- It is really nice being able to plan out all the fun things your group can do. But due to work/school/money etc, sometimes people don't feel up to hosting a meet. I think that by offering to host, it takes pressure off of the people who usually host a lot and it also shows you are willing to give something back. However, you should never take on more than you can handle!

5. Check with people before throwing something out- Like the person who gave me the bow clips did, you could try and see if anybody wants those items you were about to throw out. Somebody with a crafty or imaginative mind could find something to do with it, even if you can't think of anything.

6. Give people a hug- Simple, but it says a lot.

7. Lend a hand when getting dressed up or be somebody's guinea pig- Are you one of these people who is really good at hair styling, make-up? Or do you have a friend who is? Whatever your strength is, you could try helping out by styling your friend. Alternatively, if your friend wants to try out a new hair/make-up style but wants to practice first, let them practice on you. It is good to practice because it gives you more confidence.

8. Show people how to order from websites- This is something I actually get asked about a lot. I have helped people navigate websites such as Bodyline in the past and they have managed to get the hang of it. Foreign sites and those you are new to can be very daunting, so getting help can be very reassuring.

I am sure you can think of more ideas than I can. I am feeling a bit tired today, otherwise I would probably add more to this list. But more than anything else, I think it is important to just say 'thank you' to people. How you go about this is completely up to you.

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